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01 February 2010 @ 02:34 pm
Swiped from sterling_raptor:

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Current Mood: curiouscurious
Current Music: Star Trek: DS9 "Tears of the Prophets"
30 January 2010 @ 07:16 pm
Not sure why I'm doing this...I know I shouldn't, but I'm drunk so I doubt I'll even remember signing onto LJ...at least I hope I don't remember doing this...btw, it is so much easier drunk typing when you have a spellcheck in your web-browser. Thank you, Firefox!

Anyways, this song started playing on my computer last night and it made me think of things that I shouldn't and why it is that I avoid this particular blogsite. I know that All Out of Love was done by others before, but I'm using the John Barrowman version since I have been so madly in love with him since I discovered Doctor Who/Torchwood...and, dude, but the man can sing like an angel! Can't wait til I go to Glasgow to visit with...um...forgot how to do LJ tags its been so long...lol...but, I'm visiting with the lovely Adele_T later this year and am gonna get to see Mr JB live in person on a stage right in front of me!! Can't wait and it's still not til Dec!! GAH!!

Anyways...too drunk to remember or bother with LJ cuts, so sorry...take comfort in the fact that I doubt I'll be posting here anymore. I'll stick with my Facebook, Myspace, & Twitter tyvm...am now gonna stumble off to play cards with the other drunk people in my house...lol...being snowed in with great friends is the best way to spend a weekend!!

John Barrowman - All Out Of Love lyrics

I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you're hurt too but what else can we do, 
Tormented and torn apart
I wish I could carry your smile in my heart
For times when my life seems so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from these long lonely nights
I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too
Does the feeling seem oh so right
And what would you say if I called on you now
And said that I can't hold on
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or I'll be gone, I'll be gone... 

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

Oh, what are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late
I know I was so wrong

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late
I know I was so wrong

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

Lyrics | John Barrowman lyrics - All Out Of Love lyrics
Current Location: my house in TN
Current Mood: drunkdrunk
Current Music: "I Know Him So Well" John Barrowman & Daniel Boys
19 December 2009 @ 08:34 pm
It's been over two years since I have had internet access so it has been a long time since I've been here. I got myself a shiny, new laptop as a b'day present to myself this past week though so I am now re-entering the online world.

I'm only planning on stopping here long enough to tell those of you who may have been concerned over the last couple of years that I am okay. Life isn't perfect, but it isn't bad either. I moved back home to Tennessee quite awhile back ago due to some Family Drama and it is here that I will most likely stay (unless something comes along to change my mind...I know better than to claim anything as an absolute).

It's funny but once I got away from people who were constantly harping negatively about things in my life such as my job, I actually started to enjoy my life again. Once I stopped being around people who seemed to always find a way to tell me that I was doing things wrong - such as getting on my case for not saying "thank you" at the start of something instead of how I was taught, that the "thank you" is delivered afterwards, and therefore causing me to feel horrible about myself...talk about toxic behavior. I'm only thankful that I had a fabulous counselor along with a psychiatrist who pointed out how thoroughly toxic those people were for me. I'm not saying they are bad people. They meant well, I know. But the hurtful words, comments, and judgements were the exact opposite of what I needed at the time. And it didn't matter how many times I told them it was, they still assumed they knew better than me what I needed..thank the Divine that I had professionals to direct me on a better path. Again, I'm not saying they themselves are or were bad, just misguided in their behavior towards me - once I got away from all that, I actually found my confidence in myself and joy in life again.

Oh, and I found out that the reason I was in so much pain all the time is b/c I have fibromyalgia. Now that I am having my pain managed and treated properly (and that it all wasn't in my head after all)..well, I still have BAD days, but they are few are farther between.

I'm now managing a C-Store out here (so, yes, indeed there is room for advancement in that job), and truly enjoying it for the most part. Money could be better, but you can't have everything.

Anyways, for anyone who may be interested in getting back in touch with me, I will no longer be on LJ, but I am on Facebook and Myspace. Although if you are just wanting to be negative, please don't bother finding me. The less drama in my life, the better off I am. I am going to be trusting here and actually update my e-mail address to my new one. All I ask is that if you desire to contact me, please let's keep it positive. I have no desire to wade through old baggage that I have been quite successful in moving on from. (although there is some I haven't completely and totally gotten over. But it is mine to work through and I will continue to move on at the pace that I can)

And, yes, the new e-mail is a Battlestar Galactica reference. I'm not ashamed to admit that I cried all the way through the series finale. Wow, do I miss it (and, yes, I have seen The Plan - it is also truly brilliant). Thankfully, Children of Earth aired on BBC this past summer and I have now discovered Torchwood (and through it rediscovered Doctor Who), so I now have something new to look forward to entertaining me.
Current Location: home
Current Mood: productiveproductive
Current Music: Torchwood "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang"
15 July 2007 @ 09:43 pm
One thing I forgot to mention the other night is that I had actually managed to get into a dress that I hadn't worn in 8 years Wednesday night. Go me!

It's a really skimpy sundress type number that I got back when I was in college as it's perfect for those hot days in the SouthLand. And Wed certainly qualified as one of them days, so I decided to give it a shot and low and behold - it fit!

*happy dance*

Anyways, my life has been chaotically busy of late. To ensure that I can, in fact, take time off while sterling_raptor is here, I have been working my little ass off. Long days and all too sort nights...meh...only two days left. I gotta keep telling myself that...

Wound up opting not to go see s00j and stealthcello tonight as when I got home at around 4pm, I was more than a little wore out. And I still have so much to do before she gets here, that I couldn't really justify staying up that late. If I did, I'd just wind up sleeping all day after work tomorrow, and then nothing would get done and I would wind up frantically running around Tuesday afternoon and evening. That's just a form of torture that I don't feel like knowingly subjecting me and my housemates to. ;-P

But at least there is Faerieworlds to look forward to this weekend.
Current Mood: draineddrained
12 July 2007 @ 11:19 pm
The only bad thing about sleeping all day is that it makes it hard to sleep at night...lol...but otherwise, it was nice to be able to catch up on my sleep when it was still cool outside. The past couple of nights have been either too warm, or I had something going on that kept me up late. Being so tired was affecting my work...meh...thankfully, the BossMan is very understanding and asked if I would like to go home early and I jumped on it. I'll be making it up on Saturday and then some though, so I'm not worried about the loss of hours. FormerRoomieScott is taking the whole weekend off for OzFest so I told them that I would be more than happy to cover the store for them if they needed me.

Anyways, speaking of late nights - last night was amazing. stealthcello made my whole day as soon as I walked into Soul Food Books. Seems she had gotten me a little something and surprised me with it. That "Everyday Goddess" tank is gonna be my favorite clothing item this summer, I'm sure. It rocks. *hee*

And s00j as always was fabulous and very much fulfilled her mission of making me laugh. Although, it turns out, I wasn't in need of the extra bolster, it was very heart-warming to know that she was making sure of doing that for me. Sunday though - *if* I decide to go on Sunday...she's gonna have her work cut out for her. But I'm sure she'll do a wonderful job as always. ;)

Turns out Alec remembered me from the Gig Harbor Ren Faire last year from when I was leading the well-dressed Satyr around by a leash and collar along with elocinnuala. That was uber-cool.

All and all, I have to declare Tricky Pixie as being one of the best bands around. Must.Have.More...hehe...to me, the best part was when they played "Come to the Labyrinthe". It's been my favorite s00j song since I first heard it, and this time around I found myself being totally mesmerized by the performance along with the audience participation at the end. Wow. It had to be the most meditative experiences that I have had in recent memory. I came out of it feeling more alive then I have in a long while. I was positively giddy.

I so can't wait for Faerieworlds now.

Oh, and I must remember to give a warm welcome to dizzypickle to my flist. sidhefire certainly seems to collect the most fascinating and fabulous people and I'm certainly glad to have met this new friend as well. It occurred to me today that I really have her to thank for most of the people I have in my life today who I am proud to call "friend". Thank you, Dear, for adding so much wonderfulness to my life. *vbg* I am very much looking forward to being able to pass along the goodness to sterling_raptor very soon.
Current Mood: awakeawake
Current Music: "Come to the Labyrinthe" Sooj
10 July 2007 @ 04:28 pm
Depression sucks ass.

This heat isn't helping any.

I'm so fucking terrified of tomorrow night it's not even funny.

But only 7 more days until sterling_raptor's arrival. Thank all the Gods that I have something to look forward to right now.


Why won't this stop?

I'd hate to know what this would be like without the Vitamin Z...and I'm glad that I don't have to.
Current Mood: distresseddistressed
08 July 2007 @ 11:44 am
From dartaganon and sterling_raptor:

create your own visited states map
or check out these Google Hacks.

And if you look real close, you can quite obviously see my route from Tennessee to Washington...lol...
Current Mood: blahheadachey
Current Music: Moortje chatting at me
Gacked from sterling_raptor:

10 Things I would tell my 16 year old self -

#1 All these people you are in school with now - they will play absolutely no role in your future whatsoever. Forget about them and what they think. They don't matter.

#2 Don't listen to your father. He's nothing but a small, pitiable man who has to tear other people down to make himself feel important. You are not the disappointment he says you are.

#3 If you remember nothing else, remember this: "we all do the best we can for who we are at the time". Yes, you have made and will continue to make mistakes, but they don't make you a bad person. Learn from them what you need, just enough to ensure that you do not repeat them, and then let them go. Continually beating yourself up over things you can't change will only make you feel worse about yourself and won't help one bit.

#4 Meditate.

#5 Don't be so afraid to be different. Learn to embrace your differences and enjoy them for they are what make you unique and special.

#6 Loving yourself is the key to happiness. Really. It's not just a cliche.

#7 Don't wish that you could go back and change things. It is your past that makes you who you are, and you are going to become a truly amazing person in your own right.

#8 You're an introvert. Don't fight it, just learn to work with it. You can still be social and be introverted, but learn your boundaries and take care of yourself. And don't ever let anyone let you feel guilty for needing time to yourself.

#9 You, and no one else, is the keeper of your own conscience. Don't do something just because others tell you to. Don't believe something just because they say you have to. Always think for yourself and never allow anyone else to force their own will on your own life.

#10 No one person is ever to blame when things get messed up in the relationship arena (friendships, familial, work, and romantic relationships alike) and that one person is certainly not you. It takes two (and sometimes three, four, five, etcetera) to have a disagreement. The fault is never your's alone no matter how anyone else may want to force you to believe so. It's their own pride and insecurity that makes them want you to take it all on yourself, not anything you have done. If they aren't willing to even try to meet you in the middle to work things out, then that's their problem. If they have to tear you down to make them feel better about themselves, then they aren't worth your time or respect.
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: 'Down to the River to Pray" Alison Krauss
01 July 2007 @ 06:29 pm
It's a very rare occurrence indeed when I actually get excited enough about a movie to want to see it in the theatre. Most times I could really care less. The times I do go tend to be when a friend wants to see it and "sure, it looks good enough that I won't consider it an absolute waste of my time, so if you want company to go see said movie, I'll be more than happy to accompany you" kinda thing. But, really, it's a very rare time that something has me going "Ooh!! I wanna see!" and I want to see it badly enough that I'm more than willing to go spend the money to indulge the desire instead of waiting for it to come out on DVD or some friend to invite me along.

1408 was one of those ones...I mean, it's a Stephen King based one, so of course I had to go see it *vbeg* - cause while they do sadly tend to butcher any of his full length novels when making a movie of it, the short stories tend to be done very well (case in point: Stand by Me which was based on the SK story "The Body") as they only have room to add things to it instead of having to hack away at crucial plot points in order to make it short enough for your average film goer.

Anyways, so to make a long story short (was that a "too late" I heard out there? *wink*), violindaine and I ventured out to see the aforementioned movie here in Bellevue today. Overall, it didn't disappoint. I had read the short story once upon a time and so knew the basics of the story and it definitely delivered there. I won't say more to keep from spoiling, but you know, when you walk into a room asking for the "river of blood", you really shouldn't be shocked when you get it. Nuff said.

Oh, and one of the things that made me very happy - it's not gory. I may love a good scary movie, but gory ones are not my cup of tea. I'm old school that way. You can scare me plenty by leaving some things to my imagination.

The bad thing - I think I'm gonna have that damned song stuck in my head forever now:

*walks away singing*

"We've only just begun..."
Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: "Who Wants to Live Forever" Queen
30 June 2007 @ 07:49 pm
It's been a couple of weeks so I thought I should at least pop on to tell people that, yes, I'm alive - and well. My absence has been nothing personal; just me taking some well needed time for myself away from the internet.

Really, I've been up to far too much of late to even begin to be able to post about it all. Everything from basking in warm, wonderful kitten love at stealthcello's to attending violindaine's commencement ceremony to going out for a night of great music courtesy of Vixy and Tony with damiana_swan, violindaine and chinchillagirl...where I pleasantly ran into aekajin2 and finally got to meet lycaenidae in person...to just hanging out here at the Glass Menagerie watching countless wonderful hours of The West Wing and reading Sherlock Holmes stories. And there has been more. So, so much more. *vbg*

Our "family dinner" night tradition seems to be going very well and I am very much enjoying the time spent with my housemates (and occasional chosen and invited "special guests"..*g*). The cats are both acclimating well and there seems to be a stalemate of a truce reached between Betty and Damsel as to who the Alpha is..*snicker*...

Oh, and I do have to tell the tale of my Betty Boop and Silk (the serpent member of the household). Betty is absolutely fascinated by what very much appears to her to be a self-propelled string that resides in the tank in between the living room and kitchen. And I discovered the other night that he is equally as fascinated by her...*teehee*. There was one rather amusing moment last week that I wish I had been able to get a picture of: Silk and Betty nose to nose through the tank glass. Predator to Predator. Each doing things to get the other one to move around and "perform" for the other. They take turns. It's so cute. *snerk*

I also got me a new desktop background last weekend courtesy of katiesangels:

Not only is it a lovely background of the gorgeous Lauren Graham, but I really love the tag line at the bottom: "Keep Smiling; Keep Shining"


Yup, it was totally for me.
Current Mood: lazylazy